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And he used to be such a nice, quiet boy

The Underground Antimatter Particle Converter Thingy

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So what is it and what does it do?

Well I have sat through the BBC reports and I am really still none the wiser.  It does lots of stuff, including creating a black hole.  Which is just what we want in central Europe, even if it is in a cave.  Doesn’t it sound a bit like sawing through the branch you are sitting on?  Or letting off an atomic bomb to see what it sounds like?

It also is going to find the God Particle, apparently.  People have been searching for God all their lives.  He was hiding in a cave in Switzerland, so now you know.

This tubey tunnelly thing is going to shoot particles around some race track to collect data of some kind.  Like how fast they are going.

If all this is starting to sound a bit sci-fi I am not surprised.  They already did a series on something like this called Stargate SG1.  Somebody liked it so much they decided to do it for real.

So what if it does open a gateway to another dimension?

Well it may solve the problem of cheap air fares, at last we will have somewhere to go.

Will it solve the problems earth faces in relation to global warming?

Possibly one day, you never know.

What if horrible mutant monsters start coming out of it and attacking everybody?

Well we will send them to a nightclub in England where they will either pull something even more minging or get stabbed to death.  Either way none of them will bother to visit Earth again.

Now this thing took fourteen years to build, so it is a fair bet it will be around for a very long time.  One day it may be found by our decendants.  Maybe it will be their Stonehenge.  They will spend hours walking around it wondering what the hell it is and what it does.

Well if we have no idea today then they certainly have no chance.

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Written by Nick Gilmartin

September 11, 2008 at 12:52 pm

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