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‘Up’ opens the Cannes Film Festival

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Promoting the film Up!

Promoting the film Up!

In the past the Cannes film festival drifted away from it’s roots.  It became more about after-show parties, publicity stunts, who is wearing who, and who is doing who.

Diane Kruger at a recent Cinema Against Aids party

Diane Kruger at a recent Cinema Against Aids party (photo by sip press)

But in the current recession the festival has very much got back to basics.  The Vanity Fair party has been cancelled, and a lot of the New York glitterati are staying home.  The big ticket this year is the Cinema Against Aids dinner and aution.  Bill Clinton will be there.

Looking for Eric

In the catagories Britain is well represented, with Ken Loach’s film, Looking for Eric, in the running for the big prize.  It stars the former Leeds and Manchester footballer, Eric Cantona, as himself in a talking poster.  The poster gives Eric the postman his enigmatic answers and advice on life.  And probably how to deliver a kung-fu kick.

Ken Loach is the second best thing to come out of Nuneaton, after my fiancee, and he now lives in Bath.  He won the Palm d’Or in 2006 with his film The Wind that Shakes the Barley.

That'll teach him to diss our movie.

That'll teach him to diss our movie.

Until last year I thought Brangelina was a fibreous italian breakfast cerial.  No it means Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  But apparently their relationship is on the rocks these days. Only Brad is expected to show at the premier of his film, Inglorious Basterds.

Cannes is a huge networking opportunity and attracts people from all over the industry.  Stars, Starlets, wannabies, producers, directors, financiers, editors, anybody and everybody.  Deals are done on benches, over tables, under tables and mostly on huge yachts.

A couple of film makers called Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicek formed the Haycelon company and recently produced Terminator Salvation.  They have recently purchased the rights to the author Phillip K Dick’s estate.  This is the author of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?  which later was known by the way-cooler name of Blade Runner.  Another of his was Total Recall.  So that is a name we will be watching.


So what is everybody wearing?  Clothes, yes, but which labels? Gucci, Ferruchi, Fellatio, Armani? Well I don’t frackin’ know, do I ?  I need a gay German fashionista to help me out here.  Say hello to Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno.  This is the man who has been going around scaring the shit out of the Vanity Fair set all around Europe and New York.  Coming soon, you know Cohen never dissappoints.

The Hot d'Or down the road led to many naughty moments.

The Hot d'Or down the road led to many naughty moments.

Sadly the Hot d’Or down the road is now closed.  This was the porn equivelent of Cannes that ran parellel to the main event.  Now the opportunity for mischief was too good for some adult stars who would sneak into Cannes and get up to all kinds of hi-jinks such as streaking through black-tie dinners and open air stripping.  Ah the good old days.


But in the really old days the place to party was on the Yachts.  Back when Errol Flynn and David Niven would invite a host of starlets back to their ocean-going palace for Martinis.  And then allegedly molest them.

So thats all for now, when I hear more, so do you.

Ciao darlings!



Written by Nick Gilmartin

May 14, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Posted in Film and Cinema

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