Nick Gilmartin's Weblog

And he used to be such a nice, quiet boy

The best world leaders for a night out

with 2 comments

I just had your girlfriend and her sister

I just had your girlfriend and her sister

The leaders of Britain and Ireland are a bit of a dull, grasping lot.  Their personality colour chart seems to range from beige to grey.

Meanwhile across le channel and a few hours drive we have two of the most flamboyant, roguish, hormonal, overgrown teenagers ever to set foot in the European Parliament.

Mr Brown and Mr Cowen, could we swap you for Monsieur Sarkozy and Signor Berlusconi for a month?  Oh go on, it would be fun.

'Ello Sexy laydeez, come to ze champagne room weeth me?

'Ello Sexy laydeez, come to ze champagne room weeth me?

Our continental cousins seem to have a lot more fun in their work than Britain and Ireland.   Nicolas Sarkozy is an oversexed, hugely ambitious diddyman, like scrappy-do with a permanent hard-on.  Or perhaps like Pepe le pew on Viagra.  He gets his kicks by telling the French that they may have to work more than 35 hours a week.  Mon dieu!  Imagine working 40 hour weeks?  The whole country needed a lie down in a darkened room when he told them.  He is all for strengthening the Entente Cordiale, and has very strong views on law and order.  We need this man in number 10.

Free Health Board Breast Check

Free Health Board Breast Check

He picked his female cabinet member specifically for their good looks and dress sense.  He thinks nothing of telling his female staff to wear shorter skirts and tight blouses.  Sid the Sexist looks bashful in comparison, and yet France seems to love him for it.  He sees every man as a rival and every woman as something to be conquered.

Do I look dead sophisticated in me bandanna?

Do I look dead sophisticated in me bandanna?

And as for Silvio Berluscone, well at least he has excellent taste in women, even if they do range from jailbait to hookers.  He has that kind of bedside manner that just leaves people open mouthed.  Did he really just say that?  Ricky Gervais could not have scripted some of Silvio’s little gems. During a televised encounter with voters on 10 April 2008 a young woman asked Silvio Berlusconi what the younger generation should do about the lack of secure jobs. He promptly suggested that she try to marry “the son of Berlusconi… with a smile like yours, you could try.”  Cue stunned silence.

Well you can hardly blame him

Well you can hardly blame him

He is a former film director so I suppose he is used to getting his way with the fit young things.  But his attempts to get 18 year old Noemi Letizia into government (or bed more likely) looks a bit pathetic.  Still, you can’t blame him for trying.  Berlusconi is said by many to be a national embarrassment, and the Pope has publicly belated him for acting like Rod Stewart.  When a former member of the Hitler Youth lectures you on morality you know you have overstepped the mark.

Of course, it won't happen again your grace.  Honest.  No, really.

Of course, it won't happen again your grace. Honest. No, really.

But never since the days of Clinton and Yeltsin, has there been two world leaders you would love a night on the town with.  You know it would end up with a visit to a strip club, a fight and a kebab.  And probably a taxi ride home with a young lady of the night on each arm.

Keep up the good work fellas!

P.S. Check out my novel at http://www.theirishrepublican.wordpress.com

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Written by Nick Gilmartin

June 30, 2009 at 7:08 am

2 Responses

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  1. Funny. But true. You can’t deny that the two are very colourful characters.

    When a former member of the Hitler Youth lectures you on morality you know you have overstepped the mark.

    Bang on!

    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian

    Quirky Indian

    June 30, 2009 at 7:47 am

    • “When a former member of the Hitler Youth lectures you on morality you know you have overstepped the mark.”

      Great one, had to lol.
      (I’m German.)

      thor

      November 23, 2009 at 5:59 pm


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