Meet Miss Universe

Stefania Fernandez
Last night, in a spectacularly untelevized competition, Stefania Fernandez of Venezuela was crowned Miss Universe. Get down on your knees and worship this woman. What a honey.
Not only that but she was crowned by the previous Miss Universe, who was, wait for it, also from Venezuela. Flights to Venezuela start at £445 from Heathrow. Clearly all their women have the lush gene. Hugo Chavez clearly has the same ideas as Silvio Berlusconi. Live in a country where the women are incredibly hot and wear very little.
But fair play to the girl. She won a cash prize, a promotional trip, a rent free New York apartment, a two year course at the New York film academy, endless cosmetic goodies and shoes and a free pass to the best beauty parlours and spas in the world.
For travel advise on Venezuela go to:
And what do we get? Katie sodding Price. I will stab myself in the bollocks the next time I have an erotic thought about her.
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