Meet Miss Universe

Stefania Fernandez

Last night, in a spectacularly untelevized competition,  Stefania Fernandez of Venezuela was crowned Miss Universe.  Get down on your knees and worship this woman.  What a honey.

Not only that but she was crowned by the previous Miss Universe, who was, wait for it, also from Venezuela.  Flights to Venezuela start at £445 from Heathrow.  Clearly all their women have the lush gene.   Hugo Chavez clearly has the same ideas as Silvio Berlusconi.  Live in a country where the women are incredibly hot and wear very little.

But fair play to the girl.  She won a cash prize, a promotional trip, a rent free New York apartment, a two year course at the New York film academy, endless cosmetic goodies and shoes and a free pass to the best beauty parlours and spas in the world.

For travel advise on Venezuela go to:

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk

And what do we get?  Katie sodding Price.  I will stab myself in the bollocks the next time I have an erotic thought about her.

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