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And he used to be such a nice, quiet boy

Archive for November 2010

Bluebeard’s Revenge

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The Cream of Plymouth

Bluebeard’s Revenge officially make the thickest and best shaving cream I have ever used. And in my time I have been through every brand known to man, beast, chin or vajaja.

It is a real tough guy’s product, so they reckon,  and they needed a real man to test it.  Apparently they were all busy so they called me instead.  It is a popular product among the Hollywood leading men, with a barber shop in Beverley Hills stocking it on the shelves.  So it is an easy sell to a brand whore like me.

If I was slightly drunk in the night and mistook my bathroom cupboard for the fridge I would find myself eating the stuff with a spoon.  The formula in question has been specially designed to cope with the really tough stubble for all the desperate Dan types out there.  Or Bluebeards as they are also known, hence the name.

Bluebeard’s Revenge is an honest to goodness quality product.  It isn’t meant to be cheap, but it is still affordable.  They also have some rather snazzy gift packs just in time for Christmas.  It’s special ingredient is Decelerine, which actively prevents hair re-growth.  The more you shave with it, the slower your beard grows back.

It can reduce stubble by 40% Beyond that it is largely chemical free and your skin feels the better for it.  Not only do you feel fresh and clean, you feel smooth and glossy.  Damn it, you feel like the guy in the advert.  The one with the big pecs and the sexy wife, who doesn’t use his razor on her legs.

Hello ladies....

To sum up, this is quite a find, and a product I wholeheartedly endorse.  For more info check out their site here

To buy your own tub of their creamy goodness you can purchase it here:


Written by Nick Gilmartin

November 23, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Britain agrees to help Ireland

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Mr Cowen (Prime Minister) and Mr Lenihan (Finance Minister) facing the music

The latest developments in the Irish financial crisis may have  brought a temporary halt.  I think we can officially say the Irish economy has  sadly reached rock bottom.  It seems a forgone conclusion that the current Government will not survive into the new year, and they know it well.

Europe and now Britain has agreed to  loans measured in the billions, which has at least secured their future  but it may have seriously impaired their ability to act, economically, as a nation.

A lot of British people (mostly English) are asking why should we help Ireland when we have enough serious problems of our own?

The answers are mainly down to the future security of the country and the preservation of the peace process.  Britain needs a stable Republic of Ireland as we share a border that could see thousands coming over looking for work, as indeed happened in the 1930s.  Britain simply does not have the jobs to provide work for all those seeking it, we cannot even provide enough for our own people.  Furthermore they provide a lot of food, mainly beef, to our shopping baskets.

A weakened Irish government would give rise to a new and determined wave of nationalism.  Sinn Fein, like the BNP and the EDL, are gaining ground fast.  They, naturally, deplore this sell-out of their nation to foreign bureaucrats.  They have thousands of young, dissaffected Irish people to subvert for their own ends.  To them, accepting a loan from the British is the last straw.

We all can see that the peace process is running slowly out of steam.  It has made some rock solid foundations in the last ten years or so.  Unemployment shrank, the violence died down by a remarkable degree, ?  We have disarmament, a re-branded  police force (as opposed to an actual new one), and a power-sharing agreement for warring sides.

All this could come to naught if the angry young men and women of 2011 onwards decide: ‘ feck it, let’s blow something up and have a riot.’  Misery divides people, it never unites them.  Naturally both sides will blame each other for their privations and in no short space of time the bubbling cauldron of hate will boil over again.  This would only be fuelled by joblessness and poverty.

Can Ireland dig it’s way out of this hole?  Eventually yes, but we are talking generations, not a year or two.  They are a dogged, determined lot when they set their hearts on something and they can be wonderfully innovative when they want to be.  Don’t underestimate them, and don’t patronize them either, they hate that.  Just wait for them to bounce back.

Go see them yourself here:


Written by Nick Gilmartin

November 23, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Posted in in the news, Politics

Meet the Retronaut

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It isn’t often I find a website that truly fascinates me, but is a rare exception.  The creation of Chris Wild from Oxford, UK, this site offers a unique insight into the past, both modern and ancient by way of altered photography.

As a museum curator Chris had unlimited access to archives of very old photographs, and once he discovered photo-shop there was no stopping him.  His creativity spawned amazing time-bending images some of which you can see here.

A whole network of creative minds sprung up around Chris via the internet and sent him their images.  People recreated advertisement for modern technology as it would have been forty years ago.  Sat Navs, Youtube, and Skype all received a 1950s makeover.  And all with just a little imagination.

In short, he has come up with the closest thing a civilian can get to time travel.

He has fascinated us with the past, reunited us with long-lost souls and delivered dire warnings about the future of the planet.

Throughout all this Chris has met some amazingly  people, for example a chap who recreates modern films as they would have been in the 1920s.  He discovered a film of the Sepentine dance  that was hand coloured frame-by-frame in the late 19th century.

Others have photographed modern buildings using methods of centuries past.  One or two people make photo-projections of how London could look in the after effects of global warming.  And how our land can be used to survive such extremes of climate.

So taking a rare opportunity to talk to a time traveler I put a few questions to him:

1. How did all this get started?

Ever since I was a child I have wanted to go back in time.  As an adult, I struggled for a long time to find my direction in life.  One day I admitted to myself that what I really wanted to do more than anything was to be a time traveller, but I knew that this was impossible.  Then I heard a voice in my mind say “Use the impossibility of time travel as the starting point, not the end.  So its impossible.  How close can you get?”

2. Has Photoshop technology been adequate for your needs?

How to be a Retronaut features a lot of archival content which is often faded or damaged.  I use Photoshop to restore photographs whenever possible.  I want to remove the barriers to the way we look at time, and showing bright colours helps that process.  The results are my interpretations rather than definitive restorations, and that’s the great thing about the digital world, you can have as many interpretations as you like.

3. Who are all these Retronauts?

A tribe of Retronauts has grown up around How to be a Retronaut, which is fantastic.  Some are archivists or historians, some are casual surfers.  They are all interested, as am I, in looking at the past not as something over, gone, or dead, but rather as another version of “now”.  Nobody ever lived in “the past”, everyone has always lived in versions of “now”.  We can open up those versions, those interpretations, as an index of creative possibility.

4. If you could take a holiday in any place, in any time where would you pick?

Without question I would go back to Allbrook, near Eastleigh, Hampshire, where my parents lived when they were first married, and where I was born.  I would visit at the point of my birth, so I could understand why my parents related to each other in the way that they did.

5. How have your images been used in therapy?

I recieved an email from a care worker who wrote:

“I work in a residential home for people with Dementia and – here’s the Retronautic bit – the home asks families to bring in photographs so that the carers can walk in to a room and instantly have a sense of who the person is. So I no longer see a frail old person, I see a child, or a beautiful young bride – one chap has a photo of himself shaking hands with Clive Sinclair when he became a member of Mensa. The upshot is that people who have their past in pictures on the walls around them are more likely to receive better care.”

I recommend you visit Chris’s site at and lose hours just browsing a world your ancestors knew.

Chris Wild can be contacted at:

Written by Nick Gilmartin

November 9, 2010 at 1:37 pm