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Archive for December 2010

The Lion’s Revenge

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Oh God, what have they been up to now?  Rather like the Jackass generation of yesteryear my friends at Bluebeard’s revenge seem to be on a mission to get themselves into as much trouble as possible.

Flagrantly ignoring health and safety they decided, since they clearly had no bathroom, to shave in a lion’s enclosure.  Like you do.  This is what happened next, roll VT Bob:

Here is a report of the following disaster:

Britain’s manliest man Sacha Harding is under investigation by West Country police  after a marketing stunt that saw a soldier’s face ripped off by a lion.

The pair had been taking part in a shaving challenge at Dartmoor Zoo.  The soldier fell against the bars of the lion’s cage during the ‘shave off’.  It’s thought that the big cat sprayed him in the eyes with urine, which caused him to fall forward, allowing the lion to attack his head and face.  His condition is said to be stable although it is not yet clear whether he is off the critical care lists.

Zoo keepers believe the man’s anxiety levels antagonised the animal.  They point out that cats are very sensitive to smell and they believe that the lion decided to spray mark the victim to cover this odour.  They also point out that he cut himself while taking part in the challenge which may have triggered a blood lust in this powerful beast.

The challenge was being run by ‘The Bluebeards Revenge’ – a shaving cream that is marketed as manly.  This was intended to be the first in a series of challenges that would see Sacha Harding take on many different challengers.  Now, Health and Safety bosses are checking whether the correct precautions were taken to ensure the stunt was safe.  However, the company’s website openly claims to be opposed to ‘over the top health and safety clap trap’.  It is expected that this will make it difficult for them to defend their actions.

Sacha Harding became Britain’s Manliest Man after winning a competition run in the Daily Express.  140,000 people voted the professional rugby player to first place.  His prize has been to become the face of the shaving cream.  A prize that tonight sees him helping Dartmoor Police with their investigation…

Lads, lads,  just do a photoshoot on a beach with a few hot models and a surfboard.  Trust me, your product will sell.

Should I really be encouraging their antics with this kind of attention…  umm, no.  But something in my high school mentality just keeps me watching.

Written by Nick Gilmartin

December 20, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Posted in Grooming, Humour